What to Expect:
This retreat for women that approaches pregnancy and infant loss through a therapeutic, trauma-informed lens, creating space to gently explore baby loss, grief, connection, and the ways loss can be carried in both the mind and body.
Our time together will be unhurried and intentional. There is no expectation to fix, resolve, move on from, or find meaning in what has been lost. Instead, we will make room for what is present — grief, love, anger, longing, uncertainty, tenderness, and everything in between — without judgment.
Throughout the retreat, you will be invited into a variety of therapeutic and experiential practices facilitated with care. These may include somatic psychotherapy, trauma-informed breathwork, mindfulness, art therapy, education around stress and the nervous system, and supported group reflection and sharing.
Participation is always invitational. You will never be expected to share more than feels comfortable or to engage in a practice that does not feel right for you.
There will also be space for quiet reflection, journaling, creative expression, rest, and meaningful connection with others who understand pregnancy and infant loss without explanation. People who know what it means to continue carrying both deep love and deep grief.
At the heart of the retreat is connection — connection with yourself, with the baby you are grieving, and with a community where your loss is recognized and your baby is remembered.
Through therapeutic support, creative reflection, gentle practices, and unhurried time together, this retreat offers space to understand your grief, care for your nervous system, remember your baby, and simply be held in community, compassion, and care.
A therapeutic
approach
to retreat care
The therapeutic portion of the retreat is facilitated by Esther Kalaba, Registered Psychotherapist (CRPO) and Art Therapist, in partnership with The SEED Lodge (Studio Seed Inc.).
Throughout the weekend, psychotherapy will be offered in group and experiential formats. Depending on the needs and flow of the group, experiences may include:
Somatic psychotherapy
Trauma-informed breathwork
Mindfulness-based practices
Art therapy and creative expression
Education about grief, stress, emotional regulation, and the nervous system
Facilitated group process and sharing
Opportunities for reflection, remembrance, rest, and connection
The therapeutic components of the retreat fall within the scope of psychotherapy and are offered with the same professional care and responsibility as other psychotherapy services.
This retreat is not intended to replace ongoing individual psychotherapy, crisis support, medical treatment, or emergency psychiatric care. The work offered throughout the weekend is supportive, exploratory, educational, somatically informed, and group based.
There is no “right” time to come
You may be weeks from your loss.
You may be years from it.
You may have living children.
You may not.
You may have experienced miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, stillbirth, neonatal loss, or the death of your baby in infancy.
You do not need to decide whether your loss was “big enough” to belong here.
If you are grieving a baby, there is room for you.
Psychotherapy receipts available
Because the therapeutic programming is facilitated by a Registered Psychotherapist, psychotherapy receipts will be available for eligible portions of the retreat programming.
Depending on your extended health benefits plan, Registered Psychotherapist services may be eligible for reimbursement. Psychotherapy expenses may also qualify as medical expenses for income-tax purposes in some circumstances.
Coverage and tax eligibility vary, so participants are encouraged to confirm the requirements of their individual benefits provider and/or tax professional.
We are happy to provide information about the psychotherapy component of the retreat before registration if you need it to confirm your coverage.
THE LOCATION:
Our Retreat Home – SEED Lodge
The SEED Lodge blends vintage charm with modern comfort. The space carries the feeling of nostalgic summers in a beautiful wooden lodge, quiet corners that invite reflection, small thoughtful details throughout, and spaces designed for rest and reflection, along with the gentle familiarity of a grandmother’s cottage—all held together with warmth and care.
Set just outside the small town of Rocklyn—about two hours north of Toronto—the SEED Lodge is a peaceful retreat centre surrounded by fresh country air and deep quiet. The property rests on 56 acres of farm and forest, near Blue Mountain, Beaver Valley, Georgian Bay, and the Bruce Trail. Here, days feel slower, nights are star-filled, and rest comes a little more easily.
The lodge offers eight bedrooms with twin beds and generous communal spaces designed for gathering and solitude alike. The main room features soaring 30-foot ceilings and a mezzanine loft above—a perfect place for yoga, meditation, or curling up with a favourite book.
Step outside to a spacious patio with a pergola, fire pit, pea-stone paths, and blooming lavender gardens. Beyond that, a quiet forest invites wandering among tall, mature maple trees.
The SEED Lodge is a place to exhale—to unwind, gaze at the stars, and share gentle moments together around the fire.
The SEED Lodge offers more than a place to sleep—it is a place to exhale, to feel held, and to spend time in spaces that honor both solitude and togetherness.
725807 Sideroad 22B
Meaford, ON
N4L 1W6
https://www.theseedlodge.com/
The retreat includes overnight accommodation designed to support rest, privacy, and comfort—recognizing how important quiet and care can feel in a season of grief.
The lodge offers eight bedrooms, each with two twin beds. Every room has been thoughtfully decorated with original artwork created by the loving hands of many people’s grandmothers—embroideries, paintings, prints, books, and soft textiles that bring warmth and a sense of home. Comfortable mattresses, good-quality bedding, wool blankets, and duvets are provided to support deep, restorative sleep.
If you are attending with a friend, you are welcome to request a roommate when registering. Otherwise, we will carefully and thoughtfully pair you with another woman in the group.
If sharing a room would make this retreat inaccessible for you, please reach out to us. We are happy to talk through possible single-room options with care and understanding.
Washrooms are shared and designed for ease and privacy, with five sinks and mirrors, four individual toilets (one wheelchair accessible), and four individual showers (one wheelchair accessible).
THE ROOMS:
RETREAT FACILITATORS
Esther
Kalaba RP, AT
Esther Kalaba is a Registered Psychotherapist and Art Therapist who has worked in bereavement for more than twenty years. Her path into grief work began at the start of her art therapy training, after the death of her younger brother. That loss shaped her understanding of how grief lives in the body, in memory, and in the objects we leave behind.
This understanding led Esther to create Collecting Loss, a community memorial textile project that honours the dead through the stories of the clothing they wore. She gathered more than 108 pieces of clothing donated by family members remembering people from all walks of life. The project was exhibited in Toronto and Montréal and gave people a shared place to gather, remember, and grieve together.
Esther is the founder of The SEED Lodge, a retreat centre whose mission is to connect people to their creative life force energy through community, creativity, and calm. She is also a yoga and meditation teacher and the creator of People of the Prana, where she offers programs that teach people how to breathe. In all of her work, Esther brings a gentle, grounded presence and reminds people how to connect to their own creative essence.
Siobhan
KOCH
After years of infertility, Siobhan became pregnant with her daughter, Talitha, in 2022. Following PPROM and premature labour, Talitha lived only briefly after birth. In 2025, Siobhan experienced another pregnancy loss at eleven weeks, and in 2026, she and her family faced another miscarriage.
These experiences, alongside welcoming her son Silas in 2024 and parenting her adopted son Paul, have shaped Siobhan’s understanding of grief, motherhood, and the many complicated ways a family can be formed.
Through Still Held, Siobhan creates spaces where grief is honoured, babies are remembered, and people are given permission to show up exactly as they are. Her approach is compassionate, trauma-aware, and grounded in lived experience rather than easy answers. She understands that baby loss can affect the body, identity, relationships, and the future someone once imagined, and she is deeply committed to helping others feel less alone in that grief.
At retreats, Siobhan brings a gentle, relational presence and a deep belief in the power of being with others who understand. She helps create spaces where nothing needs to be performed or explained, and where each person’s grief and each baby’s story are treated with care.
Registration is now open.
We’d love to hold a place for you.
Still not sure? You’re welcome to book a call with us to talk through whether this retreat feels right for you.
GETTING HERE!
Planes, trains, or automobiles — we’ve got you covered.
Driving?
Easy peasy. Meaford is an easy drive, and parking is available on site at the retreat location.
Flying in?
Most guests flying in arrive through Toronto Pearson (YYZ), but you’re welcome to choose the airport that works best for you:
Toronto Pearson International Airport (YYZ)
Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport (YTZ)
Hamilton John C. Munro International Airport (YHM)
We’ll have airport pickups available for retreat guests. Once you’re registered, just reach out and we’ll help coordinate timing.
Please contact Siobhan Koch at siobhan@stillheld.org
to chat about the best airport and arrival time for you.
Taking the train?
VIA Rail service is available into Toronto, and we can help coordinate the next leg of your journey from there.
Our goal is to make getting here feel as simple and supported as possible — so you can arrive, exhale, and settle in.
Frequently Asked Questions
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No. Sharing is always optional. You are welcome to participate in whatever way feels right for you—whether that means listening, reflecting quietly, or sharing pieces of your story. There is no pressure to speak.
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Yes. You are very welcome to attend on your own—most women do. Throughout the weekend, we gently create spaces for connection, and you will be welcomed into a community of women who understand this journey and you will leave with new friendships.
We also recognize that grief can feel especially raw and tender. If bringing a trusted support person would help you feel safe enough to attend, please reach out to us. We are happy to talk through options for you to come together and share a room.
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Yes—if you have a friend who has also experienced baby loss, we warmly encourage you to come together. Sharing this experience with someone who already knows your story can be deeply meaningful and can create space for connection and healing within your friendship. On the registration form you can indicate that you would like to share a room together.
We also understand that grief can be especially tender. If bringing a trusted support person—whether or not they have experienced loss—would help you feel safe enough to attend, please reach out to us. We are happy to talk through options for coming together and sharing a room.
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No. This is not a faith based retreat.
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No. Every baby matters. Whether your loss was early in pregnancy, later in pregnancy, or after birth, your grief is real and welcome here. There is no timeline for love, and no hierarchy of loss.
Whether you said goodbye to your baby many years ago or are still in the rawness of new grief, you are welcome here. We hope you will come and allow us to sit with you in your sorrow. -
That’s completely okay. This retreat is designed to care for you and your heart. There are many quiet spaces in the lodge and on the property where you can step away, rest, and reset as needed. Participation is always optional.
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Yes. While most of Still Held’s retreats are not therapeutic this one is. This retreat includes group psychotherapy and therapeutic practices facilitated by Esther Kalaba, Registered Psychotherapist and Art Therapist. Sessions may include somatic psychotherapy, trauma-informed breathwork, mindfulness, art therapy, nervous system education, and supported group reflection.
The retreat is designed to offer meaningful therapeutic support in a gentle, relational setting. It is not a replacement for ongoing individual therapy, crisis support, or emergency mental health care.
Psychotherapy receipts will be available for eligible portions of the retreat. Depending on your extended health benefits plan, these services may be reimbursable. Participants are encouraged to confirm coverage directly with their benefits provider. -
Yes. If you are pregnant after loss and feel that this retreat would be a supportive space for you, you are welcome to attend.
At the same time, we recognize that pregnancy can be tender and complicated for many women who are grieving. You do not need to hide your pregnancy, but we ask for gentle awareness of the shared space—being mindful of conversations and allowing this weekend to remain centred on remembrance, grief, and support for those navigating loss.
For this reason, we also ask that no babies attend the retreat. If you are unable to attend without your child, we completely understand and hope you will consider joining us for a future retreat that is better suited for that season of life.
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We lovingly ask that no babies attend this retreat. This weekend is designed as a quiet, protected space for mothers to grieve, remember, and be held in community, and the presence of infants can be deeply tender for many women in the group.
If you are unable to attend without your baby, we completely understand. We hope you will consider joining us for a future retreat that is better suited for that season of your life.
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Bedding, food, and all essentials are provided. We recommend packing comfortable clothing, a journal, swimwear (for Cedarvale Wellness), and walking shoes if you’d like to enjoy the nearby trails. A full packing list will be sent to you closer to the retreat so you don’t have to worry about missing anything.
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The retreat cost is $660 for a double room and $850 for a single room.
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Yes. The retreat fee can be split into two payments.
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Item descriptionUpon registration, guests commit to a $250 non-refundable deposit. Cancellations made on or before October 7th will receive a refund of all payments made minus the non-refundable deposit. After October 7th, refunds are no longer available due to retreat and accommodation commitments.
Not the right retreat for you right now?
If this retreat isn’t the right fit—whether the topic isn’t quite what you’re looking for or the dates don’t work—we understand. We will be offering additional retreats in the fall and would love to keep you informed.
You can join our waitlist below, to receive early access to details as soon as new retreat dates and themes are released.
